1. |
sixteen
03:55
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i bought you sixteen flowers on monday
it was raining so hard
and i could feel my heart
in the back of my throat
said you wanted daisies and i got you roses
said they got thorns, but of course i didn't notice
they were all black and white
so i couldn't get the color wrong
'cause i was sixteen when i met you
you were fifteen and always made it seem like
you were too cool for me
wore boy shorts and pink t-shirts
held my hand and kissed behind the bleachers
where nobody had to see us
break it up
i've been on my own for a while now
got me all spinning like i'm so very high now
you know that i was only trying to make you smile
i was just trying to make you smile
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2. |
nineteen + ruined
03:01
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Remember all the times you've stolen
Nothing really goes as planned
Everytime you said you'd go, then
I would just prolong the weekend
Then just one day, waiting to wake up
All the same, with bedhair and makeup
No excuse, no time to make it
You'll just find another replacement
You'll just find another replacement
So much for your resolutions
Never really got them straight
But who would care about the future
When you could have it all today
Just one last time, promise us both
And then we'll find some more self-control
No, it's fine, no need to change it
We'll just find another replacement
Yeah, we'll just find another replacement
Give me one more day to prove it
You'll be fine and I won't lose it
Heard them say there's nothing to it
I'm nineteen and already ruined
Fake it 'cause you'll never make it
I don't care, I want to fly
No one told me how to do it
But that don't mean that I can't try
Then just one night, I'm waiting to go home
All the same, nothing to prolong
No excuse, my friends are wasted
We were all looking for replacements
Yeah, we were all looking for replacements
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3. |
drifters pt. II
04:26
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I met you by the lake
you were cutting down the flowers
Said you had to go
but you stayed and talked for hours
And I said I had no home
that the dirt was all I owned
And the sun set on the roof
right above the mountains
When you leave again
settle on the ground
You will be alone
You know that I won't be around
But I don't like being told
what my options are today
So tell me all you want
but I'll just go the other way
And we sat out on your porch
and I pretended this was home
Blocked the driveway with your car
Kept us all alone
I caught you smiling at the neighbors
right across the street
It carved into my lungs
made me remember how to breathe
When I leave again
get back on the road
You won't be around
and I'll remember I'm alone
But I don't like being told
what my options are today
So tell me all you want
but I'll just go the other way
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4. |
chasing shadows
04:13
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Slow down
This is the part where we make up
In the fray of
all that made you doubt yourself
Is it hard to admit
that all your dreams are made of stone
and that nothing can fix
or make them bend to how you've grown
But if you want
we can stay up all night
and tell stories about who we want to be
when the time is right
Yeah, I can keep you up
You could read me letters that you were never gonna send
and I can write you songs
and you could tell me all about the family you wish you had
Don't mind that we're chasing their shadows
they don't mind that we're chasing their shadows
Now your luck's run out
and you're not sure how to proceed
For every wall that you've built up
another one is crumbling
Is it hard to forgive someone
for hurting you
'cause going back and forth
is all we ever seem to do
But if you want
we can stay up all night
and tell stories about who we're supposed to be
when the time is right
Yeah, I can keep you up
You could read me letters that you were never gonna send
and I can write you songs
and you could tell me all about the lover that you wish you had
Don't mind that we're chasing their shadows
they don't mind that we're chasing their shadows
And you said,
now people want to know me
they want to be me
but all I ever wanted was for somebody to hold me
But if you want
we can stay up all night
and tell stories about who we wanted to be when the time was right
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5. |
mechanical
04:06
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afraid to speak my mind
when all my family can hear me
terrified of losing all these things
that I've been building
been so caught up with myself
I forgot to mention that
whatever you're trying to do
is not gonna work
see, I gave up on love a long time ago
and I've come to accept that I'll be spending life alone
you don't have to feel sorry for me
it's just a defense
but I'm not shutting it down for you
and maybe I spend too much time alone
it's how I lost the friends I used to know
don't mean to shut anyone out
but don't know how to let them close
it could be easier
yeah, it could be easier
spin it around
and try my luck another time
it could be easier
yeah, it could've been easier
I don't know what's wrong
right now it just feels so mechanical
I don't know how to write without seeming too shallow
and at the same time I'm scared of saying too much
starting september I will follow their dream
leave the music behind and get a lawyer's degree
and everyone is saying that they're so proud of me
I haven't even started or succeeded at anything
but they like the way it sounds
and office work is better
than wasting your time on singing songs about the past
I know you're sick of me talking about myself
and I really don't think that you can help
but let me know if you get over this yourself
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6. |
to whoever you are
04:36
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There have been times that I pretended you did not exist
It's easier than trying to cope with all of this
I'm sorry that it wasn't like you had imagined it
I was never good at being someone you could spend life with
Nine to five PM you worked a job like you were born for it
Stood there in the hall, deciding whether I was part of it
After all we've done I guess it's time for us to face it
This isn't what we thought, but I think it's still worth saving
Left your feelings in the bedroom after we had closed the curtains
And pretended that they weren't see through
It's better alone now
I'm better alone now
On the day that you came home, I left the light on
So that we could see when it starts to go wrong
Made the same mistake 'til I could not remember
How it started or how we both ended up in this together
Locked your feelings in the attic
So that we could never see them
And pretended that there was nothing else
It's better alone now
I'm better alone now
So to whoever you are
Are you proud of me now
To whoever you've become
Is it better now
Now all that I've learned is how to be a liar
You gave me five cigarettes, told me to start a fire
And don't really mind if the house burned down
We'll take the easy way out
Left your feelings in the bedroom
After drowning them in liquor
And expected them to go up in flames
It's better alone now
I'm better alone now
I'm better
Would you take it back now
Or would you sacrifice it
Now all that I've learned is how to be a liar
And it's not like I had much to lose anyway
And it's not like you had much to give anyway
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7. |
remember me
04:45
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bury my feet in the sand
and maybe I'll grow
into something better
there's only so little I know
and I'm in love
and can't let it go
if I'm being honest, I prefer to spend my time alone
writing random words and trying not to let my feelings show
I know I could be something more but wasted that so long ago
where have I been going, I don't want to do this anymore
and I feel like a ghost in a dream
never enough to be seen
I bet you won't remember me
I bet you won't remember me
and I feel like a face with no name
bringing the family shame
but then who am I anyway
but then who am I anyway
hide me in your bedroom walls
and I'll keep you warm
when the snow falls
and I'm in love with your name
so why is it so hard to say
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8. |
wolf
04:14
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Well, I suppose there was a reason to let you know
that I had buried all the flowers
that were left by your front door
and I saw the shotgun in the back
I had to ask myself if that
might be the reason that we don't speak anymore
I saw your mother in her silver-black sedan
she wore the same clothes that she often wore back then
While everybody is being stabbed in their spines
I like to think your secrets are just as bad as mine
So who am I to say
you never learned to stay
when all I did was run and hide
and look the other way
Tell me that I'm too much like them
Heartless, no emotion to spare
But maybe when it's over, when I'm back to myself
We'll be a little closer
And we all know that nothing speaks like your stone face
I broke the shadows that kept distances to everyone afraid
And when a wolf comes to a family
he eats whatever's left
packs it up and leaves with sheepskin on his back
So who am I to say
you never learned to stay
when all I did was run and hide
and look the other way
Tell me that I'm too much like them
Heartless, no emotion to spare
But maybe when it's over, when I'm back to myself
We'll be a little closer
Am I still a memory
that comes up at three a.m.
'cause sometimes you are
but it all just seems so far and so long ago
So when all of this is over
will you remember my real name
I guess it never brought us closer
but don't worry, it's okay
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9. |
wasted, high
04:16
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drowning your sorrow in a coffee cup
'cause that's what we do
locking up my chest
saying there's nothing left
but i still end up missing you
so isn't it a good thing, baby
isn't it a good thing
that i haven't thought of you
for a while
i only really miss you
yeah i only really miss you
when i'm wasted or high
something's so hollow everytime you ask
why am i so cold
i don't know where to start
don't want to fall apart
i should've been more careful
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10. |
||||
tore up my clothes
set them on fire
I thought it would help me
to stop being such a liar
promise I'll stay
promise I won't go
I think I'm getting better
but then, what do I know
they called me again
left another message
I haven't listened to it
'cause I can't stop feeling anxious
hold down the world
and screw society
life is not a race
so just give me room to breathe
kiss me again
this time I'll close my eyes
nothing is wrong
you just caught me by surprise
don't move too fast
I can feel everything
and it would be a waste
to miss a single thing
I'm done being a hero
I won't move for anyone
I don't want this to be perfect
I want this to be wrong
none of this is real
and I'm most fake of all
watching myself
pretending not to care at all
and I'm done being a hero
I won't move for anyone
I don't want this to be perfect
I want this to be wrong
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Novi Lynn Netherlands
also known as ceilingmouse
25 and having an existential crisis;
creating music for no specific reason.
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